I'm not dead yet.

[Deleted]

well at least you've got someone there to cheer you up.

[Haunter 360]

Cool stuff!


Very wise sayings there.
Very.


Anyhow, hope that you enjoy Christmas!

[zigs]

(This may confuse you)

"I want you out of my house!" I shouted at the top of my lungs at Vivi. "Get out! Never come back! I don't want to see you or you unfaithful, black, rotten, dry, cursed lust here ever again!"

I was angry, upset, livid and boiling at the bone as my heart screamed bloody murder.

"You don't understand! It's not what it looks like!" Vivi begged. My father was behind her, hiding out of view, Vivi had been going out with Chester since he came back home... I don't know why I was the one doing this... But it felt good.

(All becomes clear)

I found Vivi sleeping with Chester's best friend in his bedroom, when I went looking for something.

"I don't want you here! I don't want you're cold heartless body making my house look like a sin sweatshop, got it?" My heart was pounding in my ears and my lungs were beginning to hurt. Chester was also hiding behind the door, along with Jett, Greg and Xoi (Zoe).
"Ziggy, I'm sorry!" Vivi was only wrapped in a sheet and Mark (The guy) was standing there butt naked with only a pillow covering his beloved area.
"Sorry? Sorry? Is that all you can say? As you rip out my brother's heart and trample on it as though it were something a gull just did? How dare you come into this house, and make my brother give you his heart and then let it rot in your cold merciless hands as you bury yourself in his bed and his friend!" I shouted angrily. "You make me sick, I want nothing to do with you! Get out and never come back!"
"Oh c'mon man, don't be like that... It was an accident, it just happened." Mark tried to explain.
"There is no excuse to commiting adultry!" I snapped. "The only accident that ever happened in this house was Chester ever saying he adores you!"
"When did he say that?" Vivi asked.
"Last night, when he said he thinks your perfect, flawless, somekind of goddess!" I felt myself bubble into hatred. "He went to a war, watched hundreds die and once he came back he got shot! Shot where it really does hurt... The heart! Get out!" I shouted as I pushed them outside. "I feel nothing for you... And once you get your hearts back, you can come to collect your things... And then you will leave me and my family alone..."

Since then I have felt rather good with myself, some people may not understand this but even if it's not love, even if you are the devil him/herself... You don't deserve to have an unfaithful partner. In my opinion it's the worst act next to murder, rape and molestering, people don't like talking about it as much as them... Just because it's an emotional and a mental abuse instead of physical does not mean it does not damage the soul as much, and there is only so much a heart can take...

I sat down stairs in Jett's bedroom for about two minutes when I realized there was something different about his room, and it turns out he got rid of his children's books and baby toys and stuff and sent them off to a third world country. When I heard he was going to do that, I wasn't sure when, but he did it for christmas, so everyone can have one.

I am proud of him, not many people even think about doing that, and I am not saying you wouldn't, people said they aren't shifting any cargo for christmas. Jett pulled out all his money in his bank account and paid them. It wasn't much for him to give away, considering he hasn't had any toys since he was about six, and the books he started reading when he was seven was the encyclopedia and dictionary of many different languages, so he gave away postman pat stuff and footballs and basketballs, he gave away toy trains and toy cars. I thought this was great actually...

By Christmas morning I felt like throwing up. I didn't feel too well until I got a gift from Xoi's parents...
"I want you to have my daughter's hand in marriage!" Her father boasted strongly after I just finished my cereal.
"Pardon?" I was caught of guard by this, but it turns out he's serious. I love Xoi, I can say this and believe it with all my heart, but I was worried she'd be upset if the only reason I said yes was because I am scared of her Martial Arts Master father...
"When?" My father asked happily.
"When?" I repeated in surprise, but then realize it sounded like I was absolutely delighted that her father likes me.
"Chinese New year! You come back to China! You come back, marry my daughter and live there happily!" Her father smiled warmly and excitedly.
"Oh..." My mind was rushing with excuses not to, I mean I am seventeen, then again he could point out that I am almost eighteen, I have tons of GCSEs, I speak fluent Chinese, I love his daughter, he can fund my life until I can do it myself.
I went silent.
I have no idea what to do... I mean I want to marry her... I am just not one hundred percent here yet...

[Deleted]

woah emotional conflict. FIrst hatred at vivi then usddenly marriage possibly. Hmmm well if you love her go for it. I mean what have you got to lose. You cna speak chinese and he can fund y9ou in china and you can and best of all you lvoe her.

[zigs]

Late on Christmas night:

My father and Xoi's father were sitting downstairs, celebrating the soon to be union of our families.
To be honest I was surprised that her father likes me enough to be so straight forward. The stereotypical father would generally emotionally and mentally figure me out, before being completely abrupt.
I actually didn't do anything special, but for some reason... He liked me... But who am I to complain? I've got Xoi... The greatest person I have ever met...

Her mother was in my mother's ward, talking and drinking tea. I crept in and smiled at them warmly. Chinese women are normally quiet around men, or naturally timid. But, Mr. Jing (Xoi's father) treats his wife like a goddess, well... Sort of, he buys her gifts, sends her love letters everytime he is away on business deals, and in every room there are her favourite flowers. But still she is timid, but that's just her, she is like my mother, just Xoi's instead...

"Er... Mum... May I talk to you?" I asked nervously, Xoi's mother stood up and bowed as though I had just dismissed her. "No! It's okay, you can stay." I reassured.
"What is it honey?" My mother ased warmly, I sat at the end of her bed.
"Mr. Jing wants me to marry Xoi!" I gasped, I looked over at Xoi's mother, who clasped her hands for joy, and my mother took hold of my hand.
"Honey, you love her..." She began.
"I'm not even eighteen!" I panicked.
"If you don't want to... Don't." She smiled.
"But I love Xoi.." I sighed. "I want to show it to her..."
"Do what you're heart tells you to do..." My mother smiled again.
I got up to leave when Xoi's mother took hold of my hand.
"If Xoi isn't ready, she will let you know." She let go and sat next to my mother again.

I crept up the stairs and entered Xoi's room, we hadn't spent a single night together, like lovers apparently do, that's because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. But now... I could be marrying her...

I leant next to her as she slept, and stroked her hair. After that I sat at the end of the bed and hid my head in my hands... Finally I knew what to do...

The next day, boxing day, we had a large family gathering, a large dinner, we sat in the conservatory, we were sitting in candle light, on the floor, amd we were dressed in traditional Japanese clothes, because it was Xoi's father saying how he adores his wife's family heritage.
Finally after the dinner we were about to leave, I plucked up my courage and proposed...

[Deleted]

woah. cool. good luck to ya zigs.

[zigs]

My past and my future are beginning to co-exist as the arrangements for the wedding are beginning to peak.

But here's my main issue with the wedding.
My wife-to-be will have her WHOLE boddy coated in white, to symbolize purity, but to be honest, knowing someone else will see her naked angers me.

But then again, as many of my father's female workers begin to look for measurements for the suit, my lover hasn't exactly been happy, in fact she looks like she is on the brink of crying, because I don't this she likes the idea of women touching me, I don't blame her...

The wedding is going to be held in a Chinese garden, and the main theme is going to be white and red... Mostly red...
The house I am going to be living in alone for three weeks before the wedding has already been chosen, and was in fact my father's before he married my mother...

The family loves me, they think I am great, I have recieved tons of gifts already, and it's only been two days I think. My grandfather and her father have already paid of ten air-travelling tickets, hotels, suits and dresses, luxuries and the honeymoon...

Which beings me too my next fear, the honeymoon, I threw up this morning as I remembered a story my father told me...
Me: What was your honeymoon like?
Dad: It was great, nine months after that your mother gave birth to you and Chess...
Me: Oh... Bother...

In all honesty I don't wanna be a bad husband, but then again I don't want... You know....

So in total... I'm panicking...

[Deleted]

dont worry.you'll get through it and still come out on top.best wishes

[Deleted]

yeha you'll get through it zigs.

[zigs]

Jett sat on his bed as I entered the room, he was busy looking at a picture of the family.
"When you get married... Promise me, no wait.. Promise her that you will love her for all eternity..." He said quietly as he looked up at me, I sighed and sat next to him, and looked at our smiling past.
"Jett, I love her... I truly do..." I sighed. "Do you know what I should do?" I asked.
"Prove it..." He replied instantly.
"No... I am going to... Just..." I didn't know what to say.
"In the Japanese tradition, the bride is painted in white, and her kimono will be white, you're worried that you're lover's body is going to be violated..." Jett looked at me and smiled. "Don't worry, I've taken care of that."
"What?" I asked worridly.
Suddenly I was called out of the room, where I sat and talked to Greg about something that's going to happen.

"Mum is coming to the wedding, for the next two months she is going to get therapy so she can leave her bed and walk again!" He called out happily.
"She's what?" I asked completely stunned.

My mother, after she was attacked and mugged, she has been bed ridden for six years. She still has perfect function of her legs, but she has a fear of leaving her bed... She trains her legs everyday, so her muscles don't waste away. And in all honesty... I was amazed she is actually determined to leave her bed for me...

I have just come back on the computer and started to re-look at traditions, I want to know where Jett has found his loop hole...

[Deleted]

well i cna't find it, but i'm not a super genius like jett. Jsut leave it to him. DON"T worry about it

[Haunter 360]

This'll be the greatest hurdle of your life, and quite possibly the best day of it too.
Remember though, maintain and ensure that your love doesn't run dry.

[Deleted]

Haunter why do you always sound mystical? It's cool, but yu always seem to know exactly what to sya nad make it all mystic. Hwo do you do it? i want to know.

Anyway i agree with Hauter.

[Deleted]

yeah that is pretty kool, haunter. but for you zigs i hope jett knows what he's doing...

[zigs]

As the day of my wedding draws closer and closer I decided to spend a very long time admiring my old life as I am about to make a new.

I sat in my bedroom, the last time I will have my own room for probably a very long time. As far as my male nature goes... honestly, it doesn't bother me, I mean the more I see Xoi I can see her changing right before my eyes from a cute teenaged girl into a beautiful teenaged woman...

My room has been cleaned out and shipped over to China, my boss has been sobbing over the passed few weeks when I told him I'd be going. Actually it seems my whole world has changed by a simple question. I am quite alarmed by the impact.

LunarCore sat in my bedroom with me, she looked up at my half painted ceiling and smiled.
"I haven't seen you do that in a while." I grinned.
"Yeah, I haven't been here in a while." She replied.
"I see your point... But whats wrong?" I asked whilst taking a few cautious steps from my bathroom.
"I feel like my work is rubbish, as though my passion for the writing arts has been devoured from beneath my feet and sentenced to a thousand deaths..." She sighed.
"Well I can't exactly deny the poetic ability in you... Tons of people love your stories." I comforted.
"Ziggy..." She began slowly. "I've stopped believing... started comparing... I mean I can feel my competetive side embrace and shatter my... Sci-Fi core... I just don't feel like writing at the moment... maybe just build up what I have... you never know... you might be able to read my story to your kids.." She smirked and left the room.

Kids? Ziggy Griffin... with kids? Hahahaha!! But seriously... Ahhhhhh! I'm too young for children... let alone what you have to do to get them.... I know I'm seventeen nearly eighteen... but no... its not my style...
I'm getting married on the 18th wish me luck!