I'm not dead yet.

[zigs]

I woke up this morning, with a buzz rolling round in my brain, I hadn’t drunk anything the previous night, but it felt almost the same. My body ached from head to toe, and by now I was worried about the people I had shared my life with over the internet. I was rather scared that I had sunk so low in depression that I had ruined a part of them, like depression appeared to ruin me.

I strutted over to the lukewarm radiator and rubbed my hands down its rails. My home’s air conditioning was busted and over worked, so I practically froze in my own bed. I walked over to awaken my twin brother. I am willing to explain this now; I have an identical twin brother, we were once conjoined at the arms, and now I have a large scar down my left arm. His hair is a lot lighter than mine because he goes out more, I however hide.

I walked over to his bed and kicked it savagely, his hand reached out of the covers and grabbed my leg, he pulled quickly which knocked me to the floor. I jumped back to my feet after kicking his arm. After I was done with that I headed down stairs to see my older brother reading a newspaper, but I knew it wasn’t the news he was interested in. I strolled into the kitchen and grabbed an apple. I didn’t want breakfast, I wasn’t interested in lunch, whilst I was planning ahead, I didn’t think about eating dinner.

After that I got dressed and flung myself out the front door. I was depressed, I knew that… And I knew what I was going to do about it; whether it was a smart move, I did not know. Firstly I was going to leave for a while, and I didn’t want anyone to miss me, so I had to mess things up before I went. Firstly I visited my brother Jett in hospital, the way I could get everyone to hate me on one move and get his forgiveness was to tell him something I shouldn’t.
“You know Ebony and Ivory? Those identical twins? They are your sisters, you are one of three… A triplet.” I announced calmly.
“I knew there was something weird about them…” Was his reply. He also told me he doesn’t hate me, as well as he won’t miss me, he told me how it was my journey, and I need to figure things out the hard way, like I always have. I said my goodbyes.

The next move was to get the girl that adores me to hate me. This wasn’t hard, due to the fact she is sensitive to every word I say. We walked down the beach where I told her my plans, she didn’t get the idea, until I insulted her, and called her slow. At this point my heart was racing, she looked so hurt, it was eating me inside.
“You selfish jerk!” She shouted, she then punched me, and punched me until I was on the floor with a nose bleed. She walked away in silence, more angry than upset. Just the way I wanted her to go.

After that I climbed onto the first train heading elsewhere and took it. I am now sitting in my granddad’s home, in Wales. We’ve been talking about different Faiths, my fate, and what my flaws are. I am going out tomorrow, to learn about the ancient art of Japanese culture. Hopefully this will give me some strength.

[Deleted]

thats pretty good so far.

[zigs]

I’ve been sitting in this mind boggling room for several hours now. I can still feel the thumping of ‘her’ fist colliding with my face, over and over again. My nose keeps bleeding and my eyes have gone sore, my back aches from when she slammed me into a fence, nothing makes sense. My granddad told me how my grandmother died. She died in a hospital emergency ward, awaiting service, when a gunman came in and cried out he was the reaper for the Lord. He shot her, and several other people, he announced they had all cheated death, and deserve to no longer live.

This thought played for hours too. My Granddad had re-married, he had a second son, called Neil. But he died when he was only a baby. His wife was bathing him, but drowned with him. I found out, I had an uncle, called Mark, but he was enrolled in the army and died the day he got to Iraq., in am ambush. My granddad had received a letter saying he was a hero, but we were also told my uncle merely stood there and froze.

He told me about suicide, and death, he told me about all the religions in the world, and how they only give hope. He told me that he never wanted me to be involved in such dangerous beliefs. He told me that believing in a higher power gives joy, but can also destroy lives and it also says equality does not exist. I showed him my hand, with its large mark. He took an analysis and sent it to his assistant.

I’ve been alone since then, I have just sat facing my bedroom, I don’t believe I have moved much, not until I decided to put this in, and see how everyone is doing. My father called a few minute ago, he shouted, he told me I have ruined the family, because of the truth I told Jett. But then I shouted back, saying he shouldn’t have lied about something so important. I know I can’t go home now, but for some reason I believe I have never had a home… So I ain’t bothered much.

[Deleted]

hey you always have a home and htat is here on tlcr.

[zigs]

I prayed last night, I never thought I'd do that, it wasn't to God, no.. It was to Elizabeth, my nan, she told me to do so, whenever I felt strong enough to do so. But I wasn't, but I was desperate. My granddad came in and found me in a heap on the floor, which was soaked by tears that I am no ashamed to cry.

He took me down stairs, he told me to go out today, and look for something to do. He said he's willing to let me stay here for free. But today I went out for a job. So many faces recognise me, it was unbelieveable. My granddad's employees could even recall back when I was a baby, when I was still attached to my brother's right arm. Apparently they celebrated my birth more than my older brother, because he wasn't planned, and my parents weren't married.

I looked across a deserted road, and saw a public cafe. I was quite hungry, and I only had about £2 left... I began to cross the road, but I was struck down by a cyclist who span out of control, I got up after lying there for a few minutes. A voice was calling out to me, though I couldn't make out what was being said. I stood up and looked about for the rider. There was a girl standing in front of me, about my age. She looked really scared.
"What?" I asked quite bluntly.
"Are you okay? I didn't mean to run you down." She began, she started talking about riding behind the bush, when some animal came out and then she swirved right into the bush then knocked me down. I think I laughed at that point.
"Stupid animals." I recall mumbling... After that she offered me lunch at the cafe, where she worked. The owner of the cafe found out and called it irony.

We probably talked for a few hours, I soon realised I used to go to school with her. In fact she used to follow me around. This startled me for a while, then I got a shock when I found out she works for my granddad, as well as this cafe.

After that we went back to my Granddad's home, he was out so we decided to stay downstairs and make cakes. But while I was picking up a pint of milk, I got a head rush and passed out. I woke up in hospital, the doctor was declaring a concusion. Great? Not really.

Now I am back home, trying to move as little as possible. I have just realised the girl works as a maid or something here. Quite scary huh? Indeed... So thats how far my journey has come in one day... Amazing how interesting your life can seem after writing it down.

[Deleted]

hmm very interesting.

[Haunter 360]

Such a terribly sad story...


But a girl - A nice girl at that, huh?
It's... Nice to see hope.
Heh, I hope that guy sees the chance... For friendship.
Everyone deserves friends.


Honestly, that poor guy... Still, even despite what's happening, at least he told the guy in the hospital the truth.
Everyone deserves the truth.

[Deleted]

you od relaise this is base doff what is happenign to ziggy right now.

[Haunter 360]

I was merely taking into account that this could be fiction or non.

Afterall, not much sense me giving pointers to a fictional character, is there?

[Deleted]

i very much doutn it is fiction.

[Haunter 360]

Pretty good title actually Zigs.
Whether this be fiction or non, it's pretty enjoyable to read.
You're a skilled writer dude!

[zigs]

I woke up this morning, or this afternoon, at about 4pm, not exactly what I would call morning, but it suited me perfefctly. I headed down stairs to face my Granddad working on his current deal with another company, he wanted to know if I was interested, of course I wasn't, I was too busy thinking. The guy said something about youth having to much leisure time, but I have a feeling my Granddad told him what was happening.

I headed into the large open garden, where I watched the hounds hunting for rabbits and other annoying animals. The grass was freshly cut, and the gardener was trimming a hedge just in front of some double doors to the out house. I headed over when I noticed him scowl at me, this wasn't a good sign to I decided not to go there, but instead he came over to me. How terrifying, he was at least six foot tall.
"How dare you do this to Sir Griffin!" He shouted. "Coming here and expecting money!"
This confused me because of course, I didn't know he was going to let me stay here. I tried to explain but he cut me off and walked away. At that point I gave up, I laid down under a tree. The next thing I knew, it was raining. The thunder and lightning was decorating the sky like lights in Vegas on the fritz... At night. All I could hear was the claps of thunder. After about two hours I suddenly saw flashlights searching through the garden, and voices calling my name. After that the cold got me, and I soon woke up in my bed... I don't think they know I am awake yet..

[Haunter 360]

Woah!
Really dramatic days...


I gotta say, even if these times are hard... At least you ain't gonna be bored.
Of course, sometimes, boredom is a welcome relief...

[zigs]

They have finally noticed, well the maid has, she came in and panicked a little then ran out. I mean, I ain't that ugly, lol, nah, she went and informed my Granddad who came up with a doctor. He tested my eyes, ears, nose, mouth, skin and hair. It was as though they were terrified of me dying of a cold. I had to admit, I had caught something. My Granddad has also fired the Gardener... I felt even worse for that, in fact I told him to re-hire him, but he refuses... I felt like an intruder getting away with murder... What happened?

[Haunter 360]

Oh, don't worry about it.
It's the gardener's own fault for lacking the foresight to not insult you.
Sounds cruel the way I put it, I know, but hey.
That's business and industry in this world.
Survival of the smartest.



You have to be careful of cold though.
Hypothermia is pretty dangerous...