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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2007 20:19:06 GMT -5
pray 4 him, and try to ask him if he could tone down the romance level
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Post by toadette101 on Feb 13, 2007 4:30:37 GMT -5
Woah, you guys are AWESOME with advice.
I would've thought that Dad would've stopped by now, but no, he's still kissing Frances. This is disgusting. They were in the bathroom together this morning, can't Frances go to the toilet herself? I asked Dad why they were in the bathroom together, but he said it was rude to ask. I don't care if it's rude or not, I just want an answer, really.
Being rude is kind after what he did to us. What he did to my family.
I can't believe him... Just can't.
Fortunately, I'm leaving their hellhole of a house, today, so that's good.
I'LL BE SEEING YOU HAUNTER!!!!
*Hugs Haunter and family*
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Post by Timewarp on Feb 13, 2007 6:23:20 GMT -5
the only time i could remember being that sad was when my grandad died from cancer and my whole family was upset and i wasen't and i felt like a jerk because it looked like i didn't care about what happened to him. i know my cousin dad was cheating on his mum and she found out before we were going to america for holiday though they didn't tell my cousin untill we came back from america, the annoying thing is he's my uncle but i haven't seen him since they broke up....but i hope i helped you timestorm (i say that cos i can't spell your new name)
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Post by toadette101 on Feb 13, 2007 9:35:04 GMT -5
Yeah, better that you say timestorm, just in case you spell my name wrong.
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Post by FlameMaster5 on Feb 13, 2007 20:19:31 GMT -5
Gracious...
It's true that some people can change your lives forever--whether that be good or ill. Toadette, I see you and your brother both are undergoing a great deal of stress. Not only that, but I see much anger in you two. Well, more-like scars that just won't heal. Your anger is not really anger, it's the pain emitting from your wounds. You're hurt, you're suffering, and you believe your father doesn't care. That only makes the damage worse, doesn't it? I haven't been in the exact situation, but I have been in one similar.
When my parents got a divorce, I thought for certain it was because my dad wanted his share of the money. Come to find out, I was wrong, and so was my mom who thought the same. My father had said some things to my mom the night before, but he didn't mean it. My mom refused to kiss him goodnight, she was angry and hurt. So, when the event happened, my dad thought my mom didn't love him anymore and said he wanted his share of the money, thinking she wanted a divorce. My mom, having thought that he loved money more than her, then said fine instead of explaining how hurt she was. Because neither of them expressed their deep feelings, the whole divorce was a big misunderstanding.
Well... That's not my point. Bare with me and I'll explain. You see, my mom then spoke with me about everything, spilling out her anger and crushed heart. She was upset because she still loved him, but she didn't think he loved her. So, she decided to carry on with the divorce and move on. Before Christmas, she went to visit her sister, and I stayed at home with my dad. I was upset with my dad because of what I thought he wanted. It wasn't until that week alone with him that he eventually, and for the first time in my life, opened up to me and spoke to me heart-to-heart. I realized he was still the father I knew, that he still loved my mom. I then knew everything was just due to miscommunication. They had no idea that they still loved one another, but their pain of what they thought caused them to get a divorce.
Guess what? When my mom got back, I told her everything. And, I told my dad everything she felt too. Now they're back together and planning on getting remarried in the summer after we sell our house. Now you see what happens when you don't express your feelings. Truly devasting things can happen.
So...
You need to speak with your father again. However, it may be best to get him to talk to you. My father and I had never been so close, he had never asked me for advice or told me his problems. Then, when he had no one else, he realized I was all he had left. And then he acknowledged I'm not a child anymore. You're not either, Toadette. You're 14, right? Well, when I was younger than you, I had the most mature and profound thoughts and ideas, not to mention emotions and feelings. You deserve some respect from your father, he owes you that much. And he needs to know how deeply hurt you were by him telling you that. It was rude, it was insensitive and...well, downright ignoring. And you need to tell him that. You need to tell him that you still want to b a part of his life. You need to explain to him that you need one-on-one time with him. And... Take it from someone who has never been close to her father until now: if you don't, you'll never truly know him. He'll slip out of your fingers...
It hurts you and Haunter that your father left your mother for Frances. But, you can't change either of them, you can't even change Frances. You can ONLY change yourself. Just be careful how you change yourself, Toadette. I don't know the deep reasons why your father left. However, if your father is anything like I hope he is, he had no intention of harming you and your brother. This was between him and your mother. It was his decision, his mistake. You must learn to except that, even if it does hurt. No, I'm not saying this without feeling, I really do feel your pain. To think that your parent doesn't love you is heart-breaking. All I can tell you is this, for both you and Haunter: pray about it, endure it the best you can, be there for your mother and do your best to make time with your father. Just because he is gone doesn't mean he too far, catch my drift? *smiles warmly*
You can take any of our advice. But, if you take anything, take this. Whatever you do, don't blame yourselves for this. You must trust in God, follow Him and allow Him to lead you to happiness. Your father is only your earthly father, a sinful being by his own will. God will never desert you--no matter what.
Toadette, Haunter, if you need anyone to talk to, you both can always talk to me. I'll be there for you as much as I can. You two are very special to me. ^_^ *hugs*
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Post by toadette101 on Feb 14, 2007 5:08:39 GMT -5
I feel so stupid, now! I was really forgiving to the situation a few days ago, but now I feel furious that Dad would do that.
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Post by FlameMaster5 on Feb 14, 2007 6:57:44 GMT -5
Yeah, I know you're angry; it'd be shocking if you weren't. Toadette, just hang in there and don't give in. If he doesn't want to be a part of your life, then forget about him. That's hard to say about a parent, but...you don't have to suffer. You can do without 'em, believe me! You've got a very bright future ahead of you. Now take hold of life, walk with God and do whatever you want to do. Your father affects your life, but he doesn't have to consume your life. Neither does the pain, it will heal in time if you trust God. :]
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2007 7:11:02 GMT -5
yes, exactly. listen to fm5, and don't forget to pray. praying is the key.
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Post by Haunter 360 on Feb 14, 2007 7:43:26 GMT -5
Thanks you guys - Heh, everyone here is so supportive... I dunno, there's still quite a lotta pain here, in this... Area of our lives, I guess. But, I guess, whatever happens, we'll move on. At least, I want to. I mean, in a manner of speaking, Dad didn't only ditch our Mum, he ditched us too, going up to freakin' Peterbrough! (Which is quite far) Frances's 'special times' with him dictate when he comes etc... Heck, that women's like a freakin' spider, sticking Dad in a web! ... Course, Dad CHOSE to get himself trapped in the first place, so it's really his fault. Still.  |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2007 8:35:37 GMT -5
You must remember though, he did move up there so he could get a better job and more money for you and your family. Satan must have snagged him when he was feeling lonely and missing you guys. I guess he felt lonely but now it's gone too far.
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Post by Timewarp on Feb 14, 2007 12:22:42 GMT -5
it's never too late maybe it's the same as FM5's parents they don't see each other enough so they can't comminacate with each other apart from the phone but i think your dad would feel too bad to go back to your mum after this, how can you saw to someone that you love them after kissing and hugging someone else
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Post by toadette101 on Feb 14, 2007 13:51:07 GMT -5
Nah, Dad knew about her at least 1 and 1/2 years before... He just didn't know that she lived up there. So, what happens? dad moves in and we only know 3 weeks after...
He's so stupid.
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Post by Timewarp on Feb 24, 2007 16:52:17 GMT -5
WOW, so he must have already....
but at the moment my dad is really getting on my nerves i get a bit annoyed on super mario sunshine and he bluntly annoyingly kicked me off then starting shouting at me, he kicked me of the computer like 5 seconds after i've turned it on and nearly always complains about how we eat too much, watch too much tv, drink too much coke and play on our ds's too much the only peace i got was when he went round my uncle's but seeing what happened to you i guess you don't truely respect someone untill their gone.......
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