Person you adore

[CS Revolked]

Brosef gave me this idea.


Write down a person you adore and why.


I currently have twelve and this number is encounting



I'll start off with Shadow.


He's the best thing since sliced bread. He's powerful and not afraid to kick a little buttocks.

[FlameMaster5]

I kinda like this. ^^

I adore my best friend Reagen Bailey. :3
He is smart and sweet, very cute (heehee), and has a love for adventure just like me!
He is da awesome. ^^

[Deleted]

I adore my beautiful girlfriend Jessie Peirce.

Why you ask? Its simply because she is beautiful, fun to be around, funny and I love her.

[CS Revolked]

Actually. I was in Person above you, and I was ranting about how I didn;t want CJ to leave WWE. *Which now I have come to accept. I'll just listen to his music instead and maybe try and go to concerts* Then Brosef made a sarcastic remark syaing 'this is person above you, not person you adore' and thus came this!


I adore myself. Because I really, I'm the only person I can really rely on in really tough times. I find it very relaxing to rant to myself and I really do think I have an alternate personality inside me, which I want to display in CA. She's basically the part of me that will never ever become free because of everything that has happened in my life. She oozes confidence, self-esteem and bravery, courage and she isn;t afraid of anything. She realises the gross responsibility put on her and she lives to accept it. But she always remebers to have fun. She's very mature but she's nice. So really, she's me and more. It's kinda weird, I'm an enigma to even myself. There are, things inside of me, that I never even knew exsisted, I remeber, thinking that I was a pacifist, I could never ever dream of ever hurting anyone, but then I realised through Year 7 to 11, sometimes you gotta get dirty with the people spreading the dirt. In the end, you have to stand up and fight for yourself. I was sick of being pushed around as a little kid and everyone thought I was a soft target and they could get away with it, but then, I realised that I had to stand up, take a stand and show them no-one messes with me. And that is what happens with CA. People pick on her, especially Crystalline, thinking they can control and silence her, but in the end she says "No. I won't be silenced. I will fight against you for the righteousness of everything. You think I'm gonna let you control and me and make me do what you wanna do, then I guess its my job to put a stop to you" Crystalline basically represents all those people in my life that wanted to take me down, and in the end did. In the beginning, Crystalline was overpowering CA, but then, as with my life, CA gradually got stronger and more aware of everything and she fought. She fought till her last breath for herself. And that is like me. I will continue to fight for myself. I will never let anyone walk all over me anymore. That is my resolve. If anyone dare wants to get in my way again, they'll have to pay. For years I've suffered and it is time to change. My future is mine to grasp and I will mould into the future that I WANT. You may wanna take me down, you can slander me and throw your petty asinine slurs, but I will never ever let anyone make me feel like I have for how ever long.


Hahaaha! I can really get into the moment. So yeah. I really do love myself, face it, if you don;t love yaself first and foremost then you can never ever like or love anyone else, and that is something I have learnt.


Good day to you all!

And now, for my happy side!

[Deleted]

I adore the cast of Carousel by Stardust Productions. I miss them so much....hopefully see them in Grease.

[Tymki]

I adore Harnettian...
HAPPY 17TH FOR TOMORROW!!!
(I still think of you as being 15, though...)

[CS Revolked]

I adore you too Assassin!

Lol!

[FlameMaster5]

Sept 14, 2010 2:46:16 GMT -5 Tymki said:

I adore Harnettian...
HAPPY 17TH FOR TOMORROW!!!
(I still think of you as being 15, though...)

I agree, I adore Amy too! ^^
She is strong, and sweet, and ALMOST EXACTLY like me when I was her age. I look at her and see a lot of myself, and it only makes me feel warm fuzzies. :3

[Tymki]

... Am I adored?

[CS Revolked]

Wow... Everyone seems to love me?

I've never been so loved in my entire life! It's kinda weird.

Me strong FM5? Ya gotta be kidding me. I had a mental breakdown because I didn;t want me teacher shouting at me for being late... and being late was not my fault.

Me sweet FM5? Again, I'm not that at all. Call me modest but I'm not at all!

It's nice that you're complimenting me and all but... I'm not worthy of them... There's nothing positive about me... Really!

If anything you're all the good, pure, nice people... and I'm the black sheep. You're all happy! You know your roles, you stick to them, and mostly, you have friends that are tangible.

I don't have anyone who I think really understands me. But I guess it's impossible for anyone else to understand you if really; you don't understand yourself.

I'm an enigma to myself. It's weird. There are parts of me that scare me, I fear myself. I'm trying to restrain it and it wants to be let free but it can't. Because if it does... everyone'll run away again.

Everyone will see that weakness and exploit it. They'll try and trigger it off and... I dunno what to think anymore.

Myself. There are parts that have been left unknown. Parts I don't want to touch.

People make me angry. That sadness.... the feelings of rejection leaves me feeling bitter and hollow, then that sadness erupts into rage. I attack! Verbally, physically. I'll do anything to ward off my enemies, but that in turn makes people scared. I'm a beast. I don't like that side of me. Afterwards because of the rarity of those sharp bites and barks I go faint. My legs turn to jelly and I start shuddering. I want to kill them. Nasty slanderous thoughts, words and simulations enter my head.

I just cannot seem to get the message through to people though. No-one cares about me! I try so hard, and my efforts are wasted.

I fend myself once, and then a different attacker comes in and tries to face off against me.

I call it. "The Cycle of Loathing"


People wind me up, make me bite, then cower in fear, then because of this, I'm rejected and made to feel lonely, I withdraw myself from the outside. I curl in this shell that I have made because no-one has ever tried wondering how I've felt! NO-ONE!

They don't care how I feel. So why should I CARE!? But those arrogant, ignorant vermin think they're above me. So they can treat me however they want! But I have to kiss their feet and make them feel superior.

NOOOO

I've had enough!

I'm out for myself.

No more trying to make friends! No more trying and being dumped in the dirt. No more. I'm sick to the back teeth of it!

Why try and exert yourself for others when they just push you on ground and then heckle you!?

Why try and be the nice one when everyone else hates you!?

Well then. I'll do what I should've done a long time ago!

I'll enclose myself. I'll pay no heed to those around me. If I don't try then no-one can make me feel inferior again!

I'll call it 'Ignorance is Bliss cycle'. If I put myself up for it, I'll get knocked down, but if I just leave them to it then they'll have no ammo to attack me with.

But knowing my luck, no matter what I do... I'll always be made to suffer.

That was my destiny from the beginning. I was made like this. My sole purpose... was to be the punchbag for everyone else. Their stress ball. Kick Kick, shout shout. It's ok. She has no feelings. She doesn't matter.

Well thanks... I'll just carry on if that's my purpose. Congrats world!

Thanks for nothing!

[FlameMaster5]

Hold that thought!
*runs off*
*comes back*

Ok...

"God designed each of us so there would be no duplication in the world.
No one has the same mix of factors that make you unique.
That means...
No one on Earth will ever be able to play the role He has planned for you..."

That was a quote I read earlier this month.
It was on the cover of October, the message for the next month of my mom's calendar and the month that has my Birthday.
She told me to read it after...

I was so upset one night that I dared think of my life ending.
I wondered, and almost begged, if God could take me home to Heaven.
My life has been so stressful since summer.
I had a job, and then I lost it.
I started college again, started at a new school I've grown to loathe and has kept me from succeeding.
I've never felt so stupid in my life!
I'm FAILING my classes...

I'm supposed to be better than this...



Amy, you remember our talk on Facebook?
I told you I felt the same way--that I'm overlooked, ignored, and that no one else is like me.
My own "friend" didn't even invite me to his 18th B-day party...
It was like he had better friends to hang out with...


I don't even have love in my life.
And anyone that ever DID "love" me...
They weren't even good for me.
They didn't even know me...



So, my mother asked me that night:
"Do you like you? Do you love who you are??"
I said... Yeah, yeah, I do.
"Then that is all you need. You are your own best friend, your own heart, and you know YOU best! God loves you, too, He made you after all. And He has so much to show you--your life is planned, you were made for great things. The only one that could tell you differently and stop you from doing them...
IS YOU...."


My mother is a wise woman.
She's right, her logic is undeniable.
Yeah, I matter, and I matter to ME the most.


So...

Amy, I meant every word I described you as.
You ARE smart.
You ARE kind.
You ARE sweet.
You ARE special.
And...

You DO have a purpose, and it's not to be a d**n punching bag for losers that can't even see beyond their own foul minds! You are meant for great things. It is up to YOU to make that happen, though.


If I don't have a boyfriend? Fine. I don't give a d**n about a man that can't even look and see what I've got to share.

If I fail this semester? Fine. I'll just find me better teachers that don't sit on their ass all day and tell me crap that won't help me learn! I CAN learn anything--sometimes it takes time, but I KNOW I can do it. I've been to 2 colleges already, I think I'm able. ;]

If my best friend doesn't talk to me? Fine. I've got ME. I'm creative--I can draw, write, and I'm one hell of a cook when I try! If he doesn't want anything to do with me, then whatever.


I've got dreams that I want to fulfill and NO ONE is going to stop me! You can try--you can tell me I'm not interesting, that my ideas don't matter, that there is no way on Earth I can do it.
YEAH?!
THEN BRING IT!

I'm Bree, and I'm d**n WELL PROUD OF IT!

And I don't care what you say, but I'm proud of you, too, Amy.
You are a badass girl with personality and imagination, and if anyone ever bothers you...

You just know I'll be right there for you. ^^
You can rant, rave, feel like dying...
But I'm still there.

Always~! :3

[CS Revolked]

What if you don't know yourself FM5?

My mind is my home. I live in it. Reality is something I crave to get away from.

I'm so d**n opinion conscious. Why can't I just forget about others, huh?

It's not that easy. I wish my world was real. I would easily kill myself and be lifted into MY world. Crysala. It was designed to be the place that revolved around me. Every single inhabitant of that world looks up to me. I control their lives. Even the Gods! I had the power! I HAD THAT POWER DAMMIT!

You're something FM5. I've never met anyone like you. No matter how much people throw at you, you bounce right up! I'm in awe... Shock.

I've never seen such conviction and determination in such a person. You never give up.

You inspire me, yet I cannot engage that adulation and engage it into myself.

I'm in Sixth Form now. I have a new resolve. I don't care about others. I'm gonna draw every single resource from that place, and take it in and suck it dry, and then, once, like a parasite, I've had enough and I've taken what I need. I'll throw it away.

It's a tool to me. I've been a tool to so many people. It's about time, I did the exact same thing to others.

What goes around, comes around they say. Time to test that theory.

I want to see those antagonistic ******** beg at my feet. Begging for mercy. I'll kick 'em to the floor and then destroy their pathetic lives. Like they almost ended mine.

For so long I've waited for this moment. When I can rise up and show the world who I am.

As a child I was naive. "Ooh everyone is nice" How wrong I was. Soon, I adapted to the ways of the world, and I learnt, evil intentions, I saw, arose in others, and they acted like wolves, instinctive on vulnerability. Dogs, they smelled my fear and my pain and they charged, like a pack. Encircling me like an afraid gazelle.

Right now. I'm the Omnipotent preadator, and they shall all- One by one- Become my prey.

Until they all become extinct. Only those who gain steel thick shells, that are impregnable to emotional, mental and physical damage, will prevail.

Life was never meant to be like this, but just like a lyric in 'Nobody's Listening' by the infamous Linkin Park

'Ya gotta get dirty with the people spreading the dirt'.

I'm warning everyone. Never underestimate what I can do. I'm just about as capable as a cold-blooded murderer. I could easily bring you down, no matter what the repercussions.

You're just likely that I have a healthy degree of self-control and in Psychology's Psychodynamic approach, my Superego outeights my Id.

I may not have 'Crystal Powers' or anything like that. But when I put my mind to it. I can easily make you fear me.

I can make you huddle in a corner with your limbs shaking. Then. I'll stand over you, with a fixated scowl. You'll run and tell your army to retreat.

Loneliness is something I have become accustomed to as well. So that stick has been permanenetly broken.

You better try something else. You're running out of options.


Hurry. Clock's ticking.

[FlameMaster5]

Maybe so.

But we all have sides, and every side has a heart...
One day I show my happiness, the other my despair.
I am a mystery to all that know me.
And so are YOU...

There is too many sides to know each and every one of them, all situations effect them, bring them out for display, a colorful shade of your very heart.



Today I feel...?


There is so many answers to that question, one that cannot be truly answered at any given point of time. It is ever changing, even if we don't know it.



I suppose I'm stubborn.
Determination you see in me is a want to protect.
To protect YOU from yourself.

You say this one moment, and next...
It goes away.
You show a different side to yourself than you do to me.
I do it, too.
I'm strong you say? Yeah, yeah I am.
But then I'm not.
I break.
I shatter, too.
All the time...


_ _ _


So...
I adore Assassin.
I do. :]
She is a complicated being, with so much intensity to all of her sides I've seen. I like those sides, they are fun and exciting to see! ^^


I adore my mom, too.
There is so much of her in me...
And I thank God for that!

[CS Revolked]

As said in the PM to you FM5.


My above post is a lie.

I will not succumb to the same fate as those worthless pieces of evil. My light will shine through.

Well. I've actually kinda annoyed myself here. Going straight off topic on my own thread forum game. *slaps self*

Ok.

Wanna know all the people I adore? Look in my sig.

Along with:
FM5 (She's my emotional crutch. Wow. I use people a lot.)
Haunter (He gives me RPG's to constantly post in to keep me sane)
Blaze (We talk on MSN, a LOT)
Assassin (She's, like, the best person evar! Along with everyone else on this list)
TW (You have to admit, he is cool.)
Myself (I wouldn't be here without me (Obviously).) (Wow, brackets within brackets.)
Alex (We make a cool team )
Extreme (gone but not forgotten)
Dusk (gone but not forgotten)
Crystalline (despite her trying to endlessly kill me or was that control me?)
Mystico! (My chao. He's awesome.)
My parents. (Wow. They actually came to my mind after my creations. That's sad. But, eh? They're cool!)
Brosef (Despite all our arguments I still look up to him and think he's the best brother ever ^^)

Wow. That's quite a long list. What'cha gonna do, eh?

[FlameMaster5]

Nah, you don't use me.
I'm there because I want to be there. :3
And leaning on someone when you need to... Not a sin.
We all have our moments!



_ _ _


I adore...
*thinks*
My characters. A little funny, but each and every one of them (including villains) hold certain aspects of me. I did create them, after all, but formed them from pieces of myself, yes?
They make ME, if you will.
And I made THEM.
So... Little bit interesting to see them in situations that I myself would react to.
(Like the RPs. ^^)