I've lost the will to live....

[CS Revolked]

Yep it's me feeling so cruddy that yes I have lost the will to live.

Everything and everyone is against me. And about 2 years ago. I got beaten to near death. Yep. Everyone can trust right. I couldn't for 2 years. I had a really close friend. Then one day they told me to meet them by a bandstand in the local park. I saw them but they had a few about 3 'chavs' with them. Then teh next thing I kne I was on the ground getting kicked in the stomach and generally having the crud kicked and punched out of me. They left me to die basically.

Yep...I couldn't have a friend for 2 years because of that. It still plays in my head.

And well...I have yet to still find my meaning and purpose but everytime I try I think...'Is there even a purpose for me to find?'


My answer: No. Coz basically I'm just here as the punching bag.


I dunno what I should do. I feel worthless and inferior.

[Deleted]

Dudette come on seriosuly. One bad experience should not ruin your life. If it does then well most of us are screwed because we have all had bad exepriences in our lives. Some that hurt us more mentaly then that physical pain you suffered, That;s all i'm saying. I know you can trust now which is a good start.

[Deleted]

No! Shadowmaster I'm truly sorry for what happened to you but please dont say that. I'm your friend and you have approximatly over 150 friends here. You should just put your past behind you and forget that it even Happend. With the beggining of your new forum you should build your base on that with your new friends and not let it ruin your life so easily, don't give up I know you can beat this thing.

[CS Revolked]

It happened before that too...that incident was just the icing on the cake. heh

Am I never to find peace and happiness?

Or do I have to be in the ground to realize it?

[Deleted]

No please dont say that You do have peace and Happiness here, and love we all love you here just as Flamemaster5 said WE are like one big family.

[Deleted]

We are not like a big family. we are a big family.

[CS Revolked]

heh......thanks.....that's really nice of you guys. I appreaciate it.


but everything just seems to be bad for me. I- I don't know what to do anymore

[Deleted]

Always look on the bright side of life. *whistles*

[CS Revolked]

lol so simple.

Don't you just feel like crawling up somwhere and dieing. I get that a lot.


And I was bullied for 8 years straight.

[FlameMaster5]

ShadowMaster...
Let me tell you a little story...
A life story...


About 6-7 years ago, I when I was only 11 or 12 in age, I moved to Florida for the very first time. My family and I moved into an old house, we stayed with my grandfather. I was thrown into a situation I didn't want to be in. I was homeschooled, have been until recently graduated, and so I never had any friends. My only buddy was my own sister, Silverflame7. So... Upon everything drastically changing in my life, I went into a deep...deep...depression.

Those 2 years of my life, I was dead inside. I felt hollow, my own my darkened by the thoughts of evil. Yes, sometimes I felt like I wanted to die. I didn't understand any of what was happening to me, and none of family knew what was wrong either. I stayed in my room, sinking deeper in my sorrow. I pleaded to God that I'd find the answers, and that's He make me whole again. I wanted to know why I was this way so suddenly. I had no friends, I was in a place I despised...and, eventually in those 2 years, my grandfather died in that very house. He was sick, that's why we were living there...

When I was 13, we finally moved away from that old house. Yes, we moved into the home I have now recently left. That house changed my drastically,lifted my spirits a bit. But you know what? That wasn't the only curse fore my depression. 13 was the age I started using the internet. I don't remember how, or why, but I got onto a forum called Sonic Haven. That's where I met my first online friends: Seribii and Liquid Sonic. I had planned planning to write a book since I was 9, and so I began writing it when I was 13.. I saw other people writing stories together on Sonic Haven, and so I began my own to see where it'd go. That story introduced me to those two close friends of mine. And you know what? They completed me. Yeah, they made me happy. And every close friends since then has been online.

Do you understand where this is going? Listen, you have beaten physically, and broken down emotionally. You are unhappy, and fear to trust anyone. You don't want anyone to get close because you're scared that they'll hurt you. My life used to be empty, SM. I didn't start living until I gave my friends online a chance. I specifically remember in that story that my feelings were covered up. I was mysterious to my friends, and even my character FM5 played out that way. I eventually opened up to them and shared my emotions and tjhoughts. I know it's hard to do that sometimes, but it's really better off. People will hurt you, I don't deny that, but not everyone is going to do so. Everyone here loves you, and I love you. And as long as this forum lives, we'll always be together. Those that have hurt you, try to forgive them and move on. You don't have to feel unwanjted or pathetic. To me... Well, yoiu're one of the greatest things that's come here. I cherish my friends, and you're one of them.

Please don't give in to the feelings you are dealing with. It will pass, and you'll make new friends. And even if you don't make any face-to-face, you can always count on us. We love you. *hugs*

[CS Revolked]

........Thanks FM5 you highlighted some of the facts....T_T I 've learnt to trust again. Thank you...I definately have. This forum has made me something I never thought I could be...me....I could never be me outside. I locked myself up. I locked away my emotions. -_-. I never wanted to be anyone's friends.

I have numerous friends now that share my interests. Thank you. I never thought I could trust again. But now I've realised..that I can *hugs back*

[FlameMaster5]

I'm glad to hear that, SM. I truly am. And, remember, you're not alone when it comes to things like this. Most of the members here have had it harder than us, I've learned that over time. But... It's not about them, is it? It's about you. Your pain with heal in time as long as you let go. However, never erase what has happened to you. Why? Well, listen, I used to think forgetting my past was the answer. Actually, remembering it is the key. Hold onto the lessons you've learned from this day and apply them to your everyday life. Use your past to help someone else, just as I did for you. Believe me, this will make you feel whole again. Your sorrow will eventually fade...

I'm glad you're going to be sticking around. :]

[Tymki]

Please, remember this, too.
It may seem annoying that I'm repeating it yet AGAIN, but it really helps, I find.
It's hard to laugh when things go wrong, it's easy to lose heart. But if you keep on smiling, it's certainly a start. Happiness seems far away when days are long and sad, but just as good times pass away so do all the bad. Troubles always fade away if you can grin and bear it. But call me if it gets too much, and I'll be there to share it.

Call us if it gets too much, and we'll be there to share it, okay?

[Haunter 360]

Mystico, never forget - YOU ROCK.
No matter what anybody else says, YOU ROCK, and as long as you stay true to yourself, you will always rock.
We like you just as you are.
You don't have to change your behaviour to suit us, and we won't ever betray you.
You're a member of this forum, and a member of this family.
We'll stick by your side!

[Deleted]

If you were to go, and to never return, we would lose a major part of the forum. There would be a drop in the number of posts, and we would soon notice you missing. You might feel worthless,but I assure you that you are worth a great deal to us.